Dear Children,
Should the Lord give you the good gift of a husband or wife, and I hope He does, there are a few things that I want you to know.
Marriage, sweet little people, is not for the purpose of your happiness. Happy as I want you to be and hope you will be, you must understand that marriage is Gods design and His purposes must be pursued in order for you to be truly happy. His end is holiness and He will use all things in a life devoted to Him to fulfill that end.
To my girl(s)~
Marry a man whose first pursuit is Christ. After that he is not hard to please. Admire him, cheer him on and show him gratitude and he will fall over himself trying to please you. Smile often, speak well of him always and do whatever necessary to try and maintain a pleasant mood about you so that it transfers to your home, making it a place where he and your children love to be.
To my boys~
Marry a woman whose first pursuit is Christ. After that she may be hard to please ;) Only if you don't know "the secret". The secret to pleasing your wife is to make her feel safe and treasured. You may have to move out of your comfort zone to do this at times. She won't always readily translate the "oil change" to love, though it means that. But let me give you a "secret question" - a question you need to ask her often. Its not just in the asking though, be sure to focus on her, maybe even touch her shoulder or her face, and then ask: "whats on your mind these days?" And then be ready to listen. She wants you to draw her out. She will perceive this as your protection over the matters of her heart. Tenderness, listening, protection...and compliments...that's what she wants.
If your wife or husband does something really stupid, forgive. If they do it again, forgive. Forgiveness must be the propelling force in your lives each day.
If you find yourself "not happy", having lost attraction, disinterested etc. you are not permitted to even think about divorce. If you find yourself arguing more and more, don't think for a minute that the children will be better off without this, because they wont.
The vows you took on your wedding day were not suggestions. They were covenant vows, before the Holy God, family and friends, to stay with this person the rest of your life, even if you don't feel like it. You swore a solem oath and if you cant live up to it, don't get married. Decide up front that your marriage is irrevocable. There is far more motivation if your "marriage house" has no door.
Do not share intimate thoughts or feelings with anyone of the opposite sex. Do not find yourself alone for any length of time with such either.
Divorce is not a "private option". It will affect multiple families for many generations. When you "separate what God has joined" you permanently injure far more then just yourself.
Guard your marriage as fiercely as you would guard your own life. Treat your spouse as a extension of your flesh, just as God sees you.
I want you to be happy...I surely do...But I will pray for you to be holy...I love you...Mom
*I do not take credit for writing this on my own...although I did add and subtract some words from the original "letter"
Looking forward to posting Christmas pictures! Happy New Year 2013!!!!!
Should the Lord give you the good gift of a husband or wife, and I hope He does, there are a few things that I want you to know.
Marriage, sweet little people, is not for the purpose of your happiness. Happy as I want you to be and hope you will be, you must understand that marriage is Gods design and His purposes must be pursued in order for you to be truly happy. His end is holiness and He will use all things in a life devoted to Him to fulfill that end.
To my girl(s)~
Marry a man whose first pursuit is Christ. After that he is not hard to please. Admire him, cheer him on and show him gratitude and he will fall over himself trying to please you. Smile often, speak well of him always and do whatever necessary to try and maintain a pleasant mood about you so that it transfers to your home, making it a place where he and your children love to be.
To my boys~
Marry a woman whose first pursuit is Christ. After that she may be hard to please ;) Only if you don't know "the secret". The secret to pleasing your wife is to make her feel safe and treasured. You may have to move out of your comfort zone to do this at times. She won't always readily translate the "oil change" to love, though it means that. But let me give you a "secret question" - a question you need to ask her often. Its not just in the asking though, be sure to focus on her, maybe even touch her shoulder or her face, and then ask: "whats on your mind these days?" And then be ready to listen. She wants you to draw her out. She will perceive this as your protection over the matters of her heart. Tenderness, listening, protection...and compliments...that's what she wants.
If your wife or husband does something really stupid, forgive. If they do it again, forgive. Forgiveness must be the propelling force in your lives each day.
If you find yourself "not happy", having lost attraction, disinterested etc. you are not permitted to even think about divorce. If you find yourself arguing more and more, don't think for a minute that the children will be better off without this, because they wont.
The vows you took on your wedding day were not suggestions. They were covenant vows, before the Holy God, family and friends, to stay with this person the rest of your life, even if you don't feel like it. You swore a solem oath and if you cant live up to it, don't get married. Decide up front that your marriage is irrevocable. There is far more motivation if your "marriage house" has no door.
Do not share intimate thoughts or feelings with anyone of the opposite sex. Do not find yourself alone for any length of time with such either.
Divorce is not a "private option". It will affect multiple families for many generations. When you "separate what God has joined" you permanently injure far more then just yourself.
Guard your marriage as fiercely as you would guard your own life. Treat your spouse as a extension of your flesh, just as God sees you.
I want you to be happy...I surely do...But I will pray for you to be holy...I love you...Mom
*I do not take credit for writing this on my own...although I did add and subtract some words from the original "letter"
Looking forward to posting Christmas pictures! Happy New Year 2013!!!!!
Beautiful. Have you read Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas? Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteNo I havent but it sounds good! I know John Piper has a book on marriage I want to read to! Miss you!
ReplyDelete